im bored.. damn bored.. fucking bored.. and whenever im bored, my mind will start wandering around.. thinking of the many sad things that i've encountered in my 16 years of life.. this sux.. my mind always ultimately wander to you. i miss you. terribly..

taken from ju's blog:

Love = Friendship/Time

is this true.. how long have we been friends? is our friendship being a constant? thats y there's no increasing love? time is ever increasing.. no doubt.. but this statement can be wrong.. i still believe absence makes the heart grows fonder.. as time passes by, i miss u more and more.. this is stupid.. i know i shouldn't torture myself this way.. but its just.. cant be explained.. i really don't know..

outside, im usually cheery and bubbly and crappy.. but that may only be pretence.. im just trying to hide all my unhappy feelings deep inside.. unwilling to pour them out to anyone.. but i really cant take it anymore.. the feeling is just too overwhelming.. im just a teenager.. i need someone to understand me.. but no one does.. all ppl do are to crap with me and our relationship stops as friends.. close friends? not really.. sometimes i just wanna cry.. but i cant.. i dun wan ppl laughing at me.. im confused..

still remember the first time we met.. we hardly know each other.. then when we first spoke you even forgot my name.. then we sat together in class.. and our friendship grew from there.. but all will end.. we started making more friends.. know mroe ppl.. sit further away.. then the time came when u move to another sch.. life in class is no longer a fun thing that im looking forward to anymore.. its beginning to become more like a chore, rather than something im willing to do.

still remember the days when i waited for u daily at ur bus stop.. just cant wait to see u.. to have even a glance at ur pretty face.. and still remember the times when u lay ur head on my shoulder on the bus.. the feeling was so wonderful.. and i wished that we could do that forever.. but no.. life is never fair to me..

maybe.... now ur in melbourne.. and u flew without reminding me.. i dun know.. just maybe..... life is gtting boring.. common test coming but i ain't in the mood to study.. all i think about is u.. but i know im just being stupid.. there's no use.. you will never be the same to be again..

i cant really say that i cant live without u in my life.. we hadn't really been talking or chatting well during the past few weeks.. i know you are busy with your stuff.. thas y i nv talk to u.. in a way, i also cant bring myself to talk to u.. but during these time, painful it maybe, im still able to survive..

now my life revolves around mainly on studies.. what a fucked up life.. if studying is the aim of our lives, i might as well go and die.. whats the use.. i wish i went poly in the first place.. so i wont meet u..

peace.