Sigh.. this whole week was pretty boring as im clearing my leaves.. that's the reason why im always at facebook. to actually start understamd whats the hype about the facebook and is it really worth the time.. and sad to say, it receives a positive verdict from me.. its a great networking site to look for friends and link up with old friends from the past. and certainly a good site to organise events and stuff like that..

but it had been a very saddening moment in my life as i gone through all my hard discs, online photo servers and whatever storage drives i have to upload all my photos that i have taken in the past all the way from secondary school to tpjc til now ns. it had been very refreshing to see all the photos of my friends and how i have neglected them when moving on to new phases of life, especially the army.

it had been very saddening for the most part because i really miss the people i was with last time.. my squadmate whom we had gone through thick and thin together for 4 years.. not even army could beat that. and trust me, there are lots of times when the treatment during the 4 years npcc was much worse than army.. i really miss the times spent during that 4 years together during np trainings and outings...

jc times.. yea.. lots of things happened.. i got attached.. and detached recently.. but i really miss her.. she's a really great girl and its very heartbreaking on my part to agree to break up and be just friends.. i really really miss her.. it had been a very lonely road for me nowadays.. no one really cares.. no one to really confide in.. but myself.. it really is stressful in army at times and i really really believe the level of stress here can be as much as university life.. and no one, i repeat, no one will really understand ns except for the guys who have gone through the shit themselves..

besides that, i also really miss times in interact club in tpjc.. a lot times were spent organising charity camps, camps and all these.. i really miss planning, working and having fun with the people in interact, especially the exco members.. they are a very great bunch of people to be with, always looking out for one another and encouraging one another.. sigh......

once in the army, its like every man for himself.. every single bald headed human being in the army is just wishing for the inevitable but long ord date. and such, many dont give shit about the army. i do give shit about the army. i understand the need for ns and the need to protect this great city we came to know as singapore. its really tiring and difficult to deal with people who just have the heck-care attitude, especially when im the one supposed to be changing their perspective of army and to serve the nation well, not only for the 2 years, but also for the 10 reservist years until we are put into mindef reserve.. friends come and go in the army.. there are really no fixed friends in the army, unless u are at a unit life where u see the 6 other guys for quite some time. even if so, its still only a year plus and honestly, most of them are more active in their civilian life to actually go out much with the own army mates..

having said that, that doesnt means each and every single male in the army do not care. i have a few friends in my unit right now that actually im thankful for, for always being there by my side to support and encourage me.. people i train with to improve my physique and people i talk to when im feeling down.. these people are rare to find in the army and im appreciate them a lot... thank you guys..

facebook is a good application but its took risky to post certain stuff. this is certainly one of them and should only be suited in a blog. in MY blog, where hardly anyone view.. but its a very good form of penning down my thoughts and feelings along my way of life.

zzz..